What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
