Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
