ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
