Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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