I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
