I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
