I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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