My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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