2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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