My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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