I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
