I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
