oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize