MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
