I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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