I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
