Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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