I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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