Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
