420 ftw
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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