I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
