i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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