So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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