oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My balls are so social today.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
