Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
