Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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