Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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