im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
