I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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