glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
