hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
