so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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