what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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