Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
