where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
