But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
