I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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