would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
