I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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