I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
