i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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