Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
