Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
