i will never coherently bang her
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
