someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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