this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
