also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
