yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
