help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i drank out of a bidet.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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