She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
